We are nearing a year on this adoption journey. For us it has gone quite fast…though we know it hasn’t seemed fast to everyone. Lately I’ve been reflecting on the past year and praising God for His faithful provision along the way. When I say provision, I’m not actually thinking of money- though I’m grateful for that too. Instead I’m celebrating the strength, peace and timely encouragement we’ve received from Him along the way.
There are too many moments to remember every instance God has calmed me with a word of truth and grace for the journey. This has often come through the voice of others-even people we don’t expect. One instance I remember is at our pig roast in the fall. I had been unusually fearful the week prior as I thought about our adoption and becoming a Mom. Some fear is expected to creep in from time to time but this had been overwhelming and consuming. At the pig roast, a neighbor (whom we had never met before) introduced herself and began sharing about an adoption process her family had begun but never completed. She told us her greatest advice for our adoption is not to fear. God knew the very phrase I needed for strength and peace…and it came from a stranger!
I’ve also been marveling at how God has moved the hearts of our family and friends so they can come around us in support. It’s incredible that some of the people who questioned our decision initially are now our greatest cheerleaders.
A few weeks ago God spoke provision to me very directly. We were at Passion, a young adult conference, and I found myself in the midst of genuine and intimate worship. God began gently revealing my fears and weaknesses in regards to our future family and replacing them with promises. He was present and providing even when I hadn’t asked for it. Afterwards, I wrote the following prayer:
Lord, Tonight your presence was so real as you poured words of promise over me. You are so intimate. Thank you for knowing my heart better than I do. You exposed fears and anxieties and hesitations…and you continued to birth and invigorate a dream. It became more clear and urgent. You want us to parent “broken” children so you can restore and redeem them. You desire to make them new, and you want us to join you for that purpose by first bringing them into our family. Lately you’ve been showing me in very tangible ways that we will be brought low for the restoration of our children and for your glory. Their past will be wrought with pain, abandonment, fear, loss, shame and much brokenness. But you’ve promised me tonight that’s not their whole story. You have in mind a story of redemption…of making rivers flow from the wasteland of their past and pain. As you were speaking all of these beautiful, prophetic promises over me tonight, I wept with confident joy. How sovereign and just and perfect is your plan. Please use me, use our family for this incredible redemption story for as many children as we can handle. I believe you give us all we need to walk in your ways. Let our family story be one of healing, hope, redemption, and freedom in your name and for your glory to be revealed. And I declared, “Here we are, Lord. It is our privilege for you to send us on this journey.”
And I am so sure that just as God has been faithfully providing all we need on this end of the journey, He is providing for our child in miraculous ways. What a story He is writing!
“For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”